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TWENTY-SIX. [Jun 17th, 1:52am] If I hear the word Prides one more time? I'm going to scream. I'm debating warding my fiancé out of my cottage until after all of this chaos is over with, if only because I honestly do not care what plays he and his team perfected for their match against the Wasps next week. For years, I tried to keep Quidditch terms out of my vernacular (much harder than one might think considering who my mother and younger siblings are), yet somehow they've seeped in. They've seeped in and I'm engaged to a man that thinks I'm going to swoon over the fact that he's a Chaser. Did I swoon before upon first finding this out, Callum? No, so what makes you think I will now? I am not sure which I understand less: men or Quidditch. Lucky me gets stuck with a mixture of the two. Simply to do my part to ensure no further senseless violence occurs (doubtful considering the senseless part is apparently an added bonus), the owner of the Bent Tin Cup slurred to me tonight that, "[he] has plans to scalp any Magpies fans that come anywhere near his pub, or even Isle of Skye." At least, I think that's what he said. He did have a rather bad gash on his forehead after forcibly removing a bloke that came in and started preaching about the glories of the Catapults. Who comes to Scotland bragging about a Welsh team? Furthermore, why am I still talking about this subject? July 4th - when all of this is said and done - you cannot come soon enough. read all comments (30) or leave a comment

TWENTY-FIVE. [May 13th, 10:41am] [Warded to the DMLE] I need to file a missing person's report. Yes, the person has already been missing for twenty-four hours. Yes, I have checked with friends, family members and her job. This is why I am coming to you all. [End Ward] [Warded to Amelia, Duncan, Oscar & Des] Want to move to Antarctica? [End Ward] [Warded to Marlene] Where are you!? [End Ward] read all comments (8) or leave a comment

TWENTY-FOUR. [May 11th, 9:15pm] [Warded to Marlene] Where are you? I figured you'd be even later than me, but thought you would show up eventually. Why else would I have ordered bun cha, mi xio don, salad rolls, bahn rau cau and bu luc lac? I even made sure they put the banana flower on the side (on an entirely separate plate from everything else!) because I know how much you complain if I don't. What am I supposed to do with all of this leftover food, now? Guess I'll have to give it to Alan and Rhys since they will appreciate it. Don't think this means you won't have to try on that dress, again. You had better have a good excuse or I'm going to have big doily flowers added to your bridesmaid dress. Along with lace. And chenille. And chiffon. Don't make me do that, Marlene. [End Ward] (added later) [Warded to Remus] I know you are a werewolf, but Have you happened to see my sister today? We were supposed to have dinner tonight, yet she did not show up. As much as it pains me to acknowledge this I pondered perhaps she was with you instead? [End Ward] read all comments (6) or leave a comment

TWENTY-THREE. [Apr 21st, 7:55pm] [Warded to Duncan] Set default for topic header: bold and underline, main- center. Set lists: numbered, no, bulleted. Set filter: off. New line and main header. Kidnapping Marlene New line and header. Purpose I am writing this to deal with the fact that it has become quite apparent that our sister has taken it upon herself to incite the attention and wrath of every werewolf, Death Eater and random evil-doer in Wizarding Britain. This is only made worse by her impulsive tendencies and involvement with some sort of anti-He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Known group. As per our duty as her older siblings, it is our responsibility to keep her safe, show her the way of the world and give her guidance. &c &c &c. The fact that she is a Gryffindor seems to supersede the fact that she has any common sense whatsoever. Various attempts to instill said sense in her have been futile, leaving extreme measures being the only remaining outlet. Such as kidnapping her. New line and header. Potential Problems While there are both pros and cons to this, it is perhaps what that could go wrong we should focus on. In the hopes of keeping this as organised as possible, I shall present this with a list. • If she is not home alone, I do not want to end up in a DMLE holding cell. We have to assure that we don't walk in on her and the boy that can't do Arithmancy. • Her wards. They will be no problem to get passed seeing as I have put up quite a few of them, but I don't want to leave her without as much protection as possible after this is done. Will look into strengthening them when all is said and done. • Her wand. I know she sleeps with it under her pillow, which could prove detrimental to our plan if she decides to attack. Seeing as it's Marlene, it's very plausible. • Tying into previous point, would stunning v. keeping her awake? The former would be much quieter, though I don't exactly like the idea of outright attacking our little sister. Perhaps we should look into other means of subduing her? Research chloroform. Where to procure and how to not end up killing her with it. • Where will this lead? It's quite obvious that if we simply break into her flat and attempt to scare her, only to reveal ourselves, she'll end up throwing a pillow (or lamp depending on how lucid she is) at us. My thoughts are the basement. We could easily use it for a night and be done before dad realises anything is amiss. • Us. As in, we will need disguises of some sort. I am fair with glamours, but it might be as simple as gathering ski masks and such. The latter does seem awfully clichéd, though. It might also do us good to look into altering our voices, though I do NOT want to stoop to polyjuice. Too hard to get your hands on legally, and we don't have the time to brew it ourselves. Am I missing anything in regards to this? New line and header. Conclusion In doing this we will not only be protecting Marlene, but ourselves as well. This family has already undergone enough undue stress lately. We do not need more. This will show her that while we may not be as reckless as she is, we are willing to take risks to protect her. While some may call these risks unnecessary, it may be our only options short of watching her get herself killed. I propose that we do not sit on this too long, because as you well know, it does not take her long to get herself into trouble. New line for any potential last minute thoughts. (added a few minutes later after she's been flipping through her journal, with the dictaquill still on) HE'S A WEREWOLF!? WHAT THE RIGHT HELL!? IS SHE BLEEDING INSANE!? WELL, THAT QUESTION HAS MORE THAN ANSWERED ITSELF. Duncan, this has now moved into being our top priority. [End Ward] [Warded to Marlene] WEREWOLF!? [End Ward] read all comments (33) or leave a comment

TWENTY-TWO. [Apr 13th, 7:10pm] [Warded to Des] You are not allowed to die, Desmond Eric Gumboil. This also means that you should stop being near the verge of death because I know I am not the only one that doesn't appreciate this fact. You can't die, Des, because Here, I'll make a list of the reasons you can't die, alright? 1) Because I'll be very angry at you. 2) You still have my book on Mesopotamian artefacts back from when we were dating. You said you wanted to read it, and I was doubtful and thought you were just trying to shush me up. It really wouldn't surprise me if it's being used to hold up a table leg somewhere in your house-- But that's besides the point. I don't want to retrieve my book from your worldly possession, I want you to give it back to me and then I can question you about it and prove you never read it in the first place. 3) Think of what sort of state the Ministry will be in, if you die. Do you really think they can find some commonplace janitor to replace you? No. I know I used to tease you about it, but that's besides the point too. 4) I'll miss your back porch. Because if you die, your mum and dad and brothers might sell your house, and then where am I supposed to go if I want to use that ugly blanket of yours to keep me warm? What's worse, if I ever visit Oscar, I'd still be able to see your porch from his property and it would make me want to throttle something; seeing other people huddled up on your porch with their own ugly blankets. 5) And what would Oscar do without you, huh? Do you honestly think he could function without you? No, for once I'm not trying to joke around and imply something lewd, but you blokes have been best friends for years. You can't just suddenly replace a relationship that you've been cultivating for the better part of your life, you know! 6) Touching back on your brothers. Alright, I've come to accept the fact that I may be one of the only people in the Leland Gumboil Fanclub, and fine, I had reservations about Amelia dating Al at first because he's a Gryffindor. Even more than you can't replace a best friend, you can't replace a brother. I know you all don't always see eye to eye, but you are family. You can't do that to them. 7) I still have to get scnockered enough one day to truly tell you why I decided to cut off all of my hair back when we were younger. No, I simply wasn't looking for a change, but one night I accidentally set it on fire when I was more than a little intoxicated. Burnt off nearly a foot of it and started freaking out, only to show up at Amelia's crying like the world had ended. You have to find this out, josh with me about it and then I can threaten you if you ever mention it to anyone else. 8) Your reliance on modern wards. Oscar has even more know-how on old "rusty" ones than I do, so I can't jab at him about them. Amelia has some, but I've also forced her to let me add my own at her apartment over the years. Merlin, even Marlene has let me deal with hers. If I don't have someone to use as an example when talking about how being quote unquote satisfied with being under prepared, then really? What am I doing? 9) And if you die I'm going to lose one of the closest friends I've ever had. I love Amelia, I love Oscar, I love Duncan and then everyone else from that group, but it doesn't change the fact that I love and care about you, too. I'm not really in the market to find someone to re-create all of our history, to fill in on all of our inside jokes, build up their alcohol tolerance and things like that. This reason is extremely important! Do not think in any way that this list is complete. I have tonnes more valid points to bring into play, but Rhys is looking at me like I'm barking mad because I started shaking while writing this. But I'm not mad or daft, I'm just sick of all of this. I'm sick of seeing people I love get hurt, whether if be my mum or you or any of the people I mentioned. I'm sick and tired of having to be scared for everyone, and wondering who's going to get hurt next. So please, please don't die, Des. [End Ward] [Warded to McKinnons] Dad was talking to Mum's Healer and they say she should be able to go home by the end of the week. I know things are really, really, really rather arsed right now, but-- I don't know, I think we should do something for her for when she gets home. Apparently Grandma and Grandpa McKinnon want us to all come over when "she's better," but I really don't think that will be exactly what she wants as a coming home present. Ugh, that sounds so cheerful and it really isn't. [End Ward] [Warded to Amelia] We should go on walks more often. Maybe next time, you can help me figure out how to properly protect The Bench in Leeds. [End Ward] [Warded to Oscar] When I stopped by Gringotts today to tell them I'd be back at the start of next week, I heard that there was a spot for another assignment in Russia opening up soon. You didn't like it enough to leave again, right? [End Ward] read all comments (32) or leave a comment

TWENTY-ONE. [Apr 11th, 10:21pm] [Warded to McKinnon siblings] He's afraid of the dark for Merlin's sake! How could Alan He wouldn't do that because How did this happen? [End Ward] [Warded to Oscar] Don't touch my paperwork. It's my responsibility and I'll get to it when I come back... whenever. [End Ward] I'm going to strangle that fat mediwitch that's walking around with her holier than thou attitude. I think it will be for the best in the long run. read all comments (52) or leave a comment

TWENTY. [Apr 10th, 10:33pm] [Warded to Marlene] So I don't get the joke, what is this? Why are you warning me? And don't say this wasn't sent by you, because who else would send something gross looking like that? [End Ward] [added later] [Warded to Amelia] Can you tell me something stupid like everything is going to be fine or-- I don't even know. Yes, I realise I'm not actually giving you any details or anything, but please just give me a bloody pep talk or something. [End Ward] read all comments (16) or leave a comment

NINETEEN. [Apr 7th, 10:44am] [Warded to Amelia & McKinnons] Tonight I'm leaving for Northern Africa. Vague, I know. The goblins won't give me any direct details, which probably means it's something either a) extremely boring or b) extremely taxing. Either way, it's been too long since I've been out of the country, so I'm taking the assignment. One of the other breakers was talking about how there's a detail set up in Libya that was recently started, apparently in Al Khums. Or more precisely: Leptis Magna. Unless there is something going on in Egypt that they aren't telling anyone about, or they need some relief with whatever they've got in Tunisia (which I hope it isn't), that's probably where I'll be going. I've only been to Libya in passing, but it's my understanding that Leptis Magna is more or less simply rather impressive Roman ruins, and I'm not a Muggle archaeologist... so I have no idea what will be happening. Figured I would give you all a heads up, though. Oh, and don't worry- it's only for two days. Saturday afternoon will find me back here. While we're at it, has anyone seen my book on early Anglo-Egyptian Sudan? [End Ward] [Warded to Oscar] I stopped by Gringotts this morning to finish filling out the proper forms to leave tonight, but figured I'll tell you this before I got distracted packing. There are two bags of butterscotch in your bottom left desk drawer- fresh butterscotch. One bag for each day I'll be gone. Think that will tide you over? [End Ward] [Warded to Marlene] Even if I do end up in Egypt (read: doubtful), it doesn't mean we still aren't on for our trip. The end of this month/beginning of next will be my best bet as to when that will be happening. [End Ward] North Africa or bust! Frank, this means I'm going to have to relinquish watching of the bench over to you for a few days. read all comments (16) or leave a comment

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